My SO gave me a Transtar mug, and I love it! When I was unwrapping it, I said "Oh yay, a mug!!," and he told me, "Mmm...maybe not. I think you'd better make sure." And once I pulled it out entirely, I couldn't help but goofy smile! Thank goodness it's been cleared! ♡
19/F mmm I'm not a beginner but I play like one... honestly just starting to actually try and get better at the game but I hate playing alone
Anyone patient, willing to help me learn and just have fun...or anyone also at the same level (I'm level 160 but play more like a level 50 haha), just would love a squad to play with...I play fairly regularly...just fell in love with the game!
Well that’s the seconds RE platinum in 3 days! Thank you all for the suggestions about loading up my coins. RE3 was significantly easier than RE2’s platinum. Is it possible I’m getting better? Mmm, probably not lol!
> be me, Celandine, Eladrin Warlock > be not me, Lena (Human Cleric), Flappo (Sharkfolk Barbarian), Pebbles (Flappo's pet Bulette), DM > also be not me, NPCs that were being controlled by players: Lyle (Hobgoblin Artificer) [Celandine], Dok (Mindflayer Wizard) [Flappo], Scribbles (???? Barbarian) [DM], Ronan (Tiefling Rogue) [DM], Astra (Warforged Sorcerer) [Lena] > talking to the BBEG (Omega) of the place we're in > he says that he needs something from us, and wants to give something in return > Celandine casts an illusion of herself (through a Deck of Illusions) and walks out to meet Omega > "Alright, let's make a deal" > Omega says he wants one of the NPCs in exchange for free passage through the city > "mmm, better not" > Omega says that he'll even take us himself > doesn't sweeten the deal at all > Lena tries to cast dispel magic on him cause he's this weird being made out of a cloud of lightning > it doesn't take > combat starts > Omega responds by beating Flappo's face in, dealing 70 damage right in the beginning > Dok turns Flappo into a Giant Ape > Lena casts Hold Person on Omega, succeeds > Lyle makes a turret, turret go shoot > comes back to Dok's turn, who casts Mold Earth > Flappo smacks Giant Rock on top of Omega, which traps him in the Mold Earth > Omega tries and fails to get out > Pebbles digs under Omega and makes the ground under him crumble > Omega finally succeeds in getting out, triggering like 15 different held actions > suddenly, part 2 of this fight > Omega now looks like a warforged-type figure with a staff that looks like a paintbrush > suddenly, bridge collapses by a Colossal Rock Roc that bursts through and carries everyone away > Mostly everyone lands on the back of the rock, Pebbles isn't so lucky > Pebbles spends the next few turns trying not to fall down from the claw that he's now in > Fl"ape"o climbs onto the Roc's neck > everyone starts unloading into Omega again cause he's still held > myturn.gif > Omega frees himself, moves like 60 ft closer to the party, and starts painting stuff with his staff > the paint suddenly erupts with lightning, hurting Celandine and Scribble > ouch > Flappo starts digging at the neck of the Rock Roc, pulling out boulders and dirt > Lena still is just spamming Hold Person, while Astra and Lyle are unloading with Fireballs > suddenly, Dok gets hurt somehow, losing concentration on Polymorph > Flappo is now regular Sharkman > Flappo responds by blasting the rest of the way through the neck of the Roc, killing it > now the party is careening towards the city with a couple of rounds to prepare > ohno.gif > Dok places an Immovable Rod behind Omega so that he trips over it and flies off of the careening Roc > Immovable Rod is now gone, but worth it > He flies off into the castle of the matriarch of the city > *shrugs* > Celandine grabs Ronan's hand and tries to Thunder Step off > Lena casts a Watery Sphere over her and Astra, stalling them > Flappo and Scribble grab Dok and Lyle, respectively, and protect them with their sheer muscle density > The Roc flies through an office building and sends everyone flying off, triggering all of those effects > Pebbles is just along for the ride as he too just falls > everyone (minus Omega) manages to somehow survive after that > we may have just sent a plane through the largest office building in the city > ohfuck.gif > overall, one of the best sessions of DnD I've had to date
My husband [25M] of 3 years still doesn't trust me [22F]
Oh god, I'll try and keep it as short as possible. Husband is military (married for 3 years) and out of the home probably 70% of the time. He comes home every few days and then is gone again for a few more. This changes week to week. I am a stay at home mom with our one child, but looking to work because I get too antsy staying home. Unfortunately, every job opportunity is shot down by my husband (except when Target is hiring minimum wage cashiers. Yeah, honey that aint covering half of childcare expenses). We went through a rough patch a few months ago and I just don't think we healed properly. I was talking to a therapist and he refused to, claimed he wanted to go together but has no interest now. I was literally talking to her about the logistics of ending our marriage, that is how bad things got. My worst memory is when I called him, told him I was taking an online timed test and would be busy for a few hours. Put my phone away (reddit is a helluva distraction) and when I went to get it afterwards, I had 10 missed calls, 2 voicemails, and 6 texts from him, and 6 missed calls from his mom. My heart dropped because our daughter was with my MIL for the night and I instantly thought something terrible happened. Nope! MIL called to tell me I was selfish and needed to get my shit together and answer my husband's phone calls. I sat in the school parking lot and cried for 20 minutes. To be fair, I am one of those people that always loses their phone, so I know it's infuriating. But I had been seriously working on this personality flaw and this was my return. I felt destroyed. We talked a lot and moved forward, things have been good between us again. But, I think he still doesn't trust me though he claims to. When he comes home I catch him (almost FIRST THING) going through my internet history. Whatever, I don't have anything to hide (erm, well besides this) but seriously? Just pisses me off. I call him on it and he says "I just want to see what you've been looking at, it's entertaining" etc. If I get a text he instantly wants to know who it is (despite there being VERY few people I text at all). I literally am hiding nothing but he scours through everything. If a guys name pops up on facebook he asks "who is that" (you mean my COUSIN???) and god forbid I have watched any porn. He follows my reddit religiously, looks at my google history, yet insists he trusts me. I feel constantly watched...like if I want to google something like "how to become a tattoo artist" for the hell of it, I think "Mmm, better not, he'll get all weirded out and think I'm leaving him for my tattoo artist". I just feel so self conscious of everything I do. Please help me. How do I go about telling him we need counseling without stressing him out, but still convincing him it's important? How should I handle his lack of trust? EDIT: TL;DR Husband still won't trust me despite no real breach of trust, how do I fix it?
The Su Cycle of (bae) AMD: WARNING TSUNAMI tendie alert!
This is my first DD, so I hope the mods don't violate! This is strictly for the culture and if you have issues do your ownresearch! I'm typing this shit on my laptop and I'm tired so if CNBC interns are working overtime you better not run and tell your bosses shit. Take some notes, buy this stock, and you'll be blessing all your children with custom pcs and your childrens childrens. So let's do this shit!
and only 1.. This goes without saying its the LEGENDARYDR. LISA SU aka SU BAE! you don't know who she is, do your own freaking research, i'm not holding your hand to the queen what is this some Bridgerton shit. Besides, i'm happy keeping her all to myself 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 Let's look at some stats, i know the ADHD kicking in probably Market Cap: 107.71 B 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 PE Ratio: 42.59 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 Avg Vol: 42M Vol Fri: 30M (rising trend after GME/AMC slowdown) i'm not doing graphs and colors, sorry depending on how this goes next DD will get crayola Ok enough of that, TIME FOR PICTURES A RECORD IN REVENUE FOR A QUARTER WITH A CRAZY INCREASE IN PROFITABILITY THEY DIDN'T JUST DESTROY EARNINGS, IT WAS A RECORD YEAR \"BEST EVER\" more like best time to buy in more than ever And they're right! IT is the best ever, they have their products scaled to cover all the segments they're striving for. They've always been competitors to NVDA, Intel, Micron, and I'll even throw in Marvell another company I love. However, similar to GME's hold on the gaming shopping experience and console dominance, AMD has that same strength and capability being that they are powering the PS4 and Xbox, but more importantly the PS4!! I don't need to explain how the gaming industry has boomed, if ape need more look at PENN chart! Add in the fact, their highly highly profitable and beloved Radeon and Ryzen combo, like... I want to build a computer, don't know how to do it.... But if an autist like me can identify chips by the name Radeon and Ryzen and not ask if its a Pokemon, we str8! Even if you don't know what these chips are or do! Trust me, they generate tendies like your cam model crushes! 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 their earnings per share trend has boomed! Compare to NVDA EPS to see how safe your hands are They showed their focus, i hit Gaming, the other big bag is taking market share away from NVDA in that department and they seemed poised to do just that Computing has jumped, but their Enterprise, Embedded and Semi-Custom results were ridiculous and that's the real bread and butter! Operating income increased a lot which shows the amount of effort they've put in 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 Don't believe me, Su Bae addressed this while showcasing some products to her elite friends recently The volume is trickling slowly because the big shots are buying in, AMD hasn't popped yet while all other stocks have bounced back! All popular cheap school laptops do i need to show more? Fine, although its had multiple pullbacks and setbacks throughout the year I believe NVDA earnings seems to be the catalyst where the big big explosion occurs throughout the whole sector. However, its going to be a slow rally till then. I encourage WSB to get in before its too late and you're questioning why all the autists decided to write their AMD DD after it jumped 10% ! Microsoft partnership is always guuuud, ask Salesforce Home stretch: Link to Senior Level Promotions There's been plenty of promotion and a majority came from people who pioneered the strong products and technology they have now. As well as members on their team that have propelled them to the gaming and computing chip force they are, as well as the data center leadership. A great leader knows when to reward their members to boost team morale. 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 Link to Option Activity (Big Boys) Nasdaq reported last week AMD had a "particularly high volume" of AMD 90 Calls expiring 01/29 this was definitely picked up on as a lot of people tried to play AMD earnings smart but got burned! But true autist know, the best time to buy in is after a loss 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 I'm not a financial advisor, I just been like the stock, along with CRSR and i think the gaming industry is going to have a massive incoming cycle so its best to get on the rocket early. The market diversification has gotten a little sloppy with everything going with shorts, so AMD is just too underbought in reality, which leads to one usual explanation. THE BOOMERS HAVE NOT BOUGHT IN AS MUCH AS THEY COULD YET. Social media trading is only increasing and all it takes is one shift into seeing AMDs retard real life strength with their products and services and poof we'll be swimming in mint. I usually would say AMD is just an options play for me, but I actually recommend grabbing shares now as this is probably the highest floor you'll ever see a stock have. It would be dope to do more of these and hope this helps the culture moving forward... ya boy got the 9-5 tomorrow but dreams come first couldn't put enough rockets so comment them in for me so they can reach me in my slumber all the way in VALHALLA A few 2/12 85C A whole lot of 3/19 87.5C 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 Edit 1: it’s the motherloving PS5!! I appreciate the love, wisdom, and criticism - my first awards received too all I can say is “ MOMMMA!” - takeoff voice 😂😂 Edit 2: at work right now, but with all the stocks making noise and AMD regaining meme strength I’m hyped all I ever wanted for my first DD is to put people on before the breakout! Edit 3: 2/9/21 I noticed that I didn’t clarify that 85C & 87.5C are my positions- the slow trickle phase has passed and thrusters are on ! Be excited but also be cautious CNBC is always watching 👀 do what you can afford
The Pet 2 [Fantasy][Femdom][Msub][Petplay][Monster Girls][Futa][Anal][Blowjob][Swallowing][Mythical Creatures]
I heard the clang of my cage opening, waking me from a restless sleep. My eyes strained against the light as I looked up to see my Elvish Mistress standing over me. The cage door swung open and I struggled to my knees. I waited for my Mistress’s command and with a wave of her hand I ventured out of my metal prison. I crawled on my hands and knees, naked but for my collar, and stared up lovingly at the Elven Goddess hovering over me. Her piercing eyes burned with an orange-red flame as she peered down at me. Her fierce stare kept me in my place though her gentle face was loving and sweet. Her shoulders were drowned with flowing waves of silky white hair. Her milky skin was flawless and in deep contrast with the blood red lips that grinned at me. Her black robes hung like moss cascading down the slim trunk of a forest tree. As my eyes adjusted to the light I saw that my Goddess was not alone. Three figures stood behind her in the shadows. Two hulking, gnarled figures hid in the darkness and a small, petite being leaned casually against the wall. “Oh my sweet little puppy.” My mistress cooed. “You have been so well behaved. I have trained you well. Now, I leave you for tonight. But you will not be allowed out of your cage without supervision.” She gestured behind her at the three mysterious figures. “My slave girls will have you tonight. You will follow their demands as you would mine and you must be a good little pet as you have always been for me, no matter what they do to you.” Her grin widened and my heart fluttered at the thought of what she could mean. What would they do to me? The ideas ran through my mind but I nodded obediently. Whatever my Queen had in store for me I would comply. My Mistress turned on her heel, her robes flowing behind her as she made her way around the corner. I heard the front door open and immediately close. My Mistress had left me in the hands of these strange beings. I stayed kneeling on the floor, watching the shadows until the figures revealed themselves. Slowly, the smallest figure began to emerge from the shadows, a soft voice singing out from the darkness. “Puppy. I like a puppy! So teeny and cute and sweet. A little human puppy to play with.” The voice was feminine and playful. A high pitched squeak and giggle followed by excited clapping sounded from a small pink mouth. The figure stepped into the light, no more than four feet in height and a tiny, slim frame. Her skin was a pale grey and short, dark horns twisted upward from her forehead. Long, thin, moss green curls flowed down from her head and wrapped delicately around her horns, hanging in front of her face in wisps. Her pointed ears curved up the side of her head like that of a hare. Her doe-like eyes were big and round, dark pupils filling most of her eyes as she stared down at me. Her mouth was very small, tiny pink lips curled into a sweet smile and her black nose tented up like a kitten. Her petite body was nude and mesmerizing. Her breasts were small but perky, her hips narrow and her arms and legs were very thin. Her features, body and voice were so womanly but the long, thin cock that hung between her legs was not. It must have been about nine inches in length and she stroked it softly with her hand as she spoke. “I am Rya. We are your babysitters this evening while the Elf Queen is away. The twins have been looking forward to it all day.” The nymph futa explained, cock in hand. I looked past her at the two shadowy figures. The twins? As if they were responding to the question in my mind, the twins stepped into the light behind Rya. My eyes widened at the sight before me. Orcs. “This is Teek,” Rya gestured to the Orc on the left. “and Mika.” She pointed to her right. The two were bigger than I had realized, at least seven feet a piece. Teek hunched over like a gorilla, shoulders wide and muscular. Her breasts were large and her nipples stood hard at attention. Her skin was a lime-green colour and her body was thick but with feminine curves. Her face was slim and she had full, plump lips accented by small tusks protruding from under her lower lip. Her eyes were an emerald green and thick eyebrows lined her forehead. Long, straight, forest green hair cascaded over her bulky shoulders and hung around her pointed ears. Her strong arms ended in long, black claws and her smile revealed ivory fangs. Her pussy was hairless and her clit was clearly swollen already with animalistic desires. Mika was slightly less feminine. Her breasts were much larger but her build was thicker and her skin a darker green. Her back, arms and legs were hairy with black, coarse fur and long black claws extending from her fingers and toes. Her lips were black and full with larger tusks hanging like gnarled stalactites from under her upper lip. Her eyes were black with long thick lashes. Her short charcoal hair stuck out from around her long, sharp ears like an explosion of messy fur. One rough hand held an enormously hung cock, at least twelve inches in length and so thick it had to be dangerous. Mika stroked her full length as she looked down at me hungrily and licked her lips with her long, black tongue. My eyes were like big, round saucers. I could only shake and fear for my tiny body as I looked up at these behemoths with desire in their monstrous eyes. My fear was silenced when Rya spoke again. “Pet-pet! We will have so much fun!” She clapped and giggled in her high pitched rodent voice. Mika and Teek grunted behind her, ready to play. “Alright, puppy! You will crawl like a good pet-pet down the hall and to the bedroom where we will babysit our little human. You will obey and give pleasure to your watchers! Now go!” The fear that paralyzed me slowed my movement but I dared not hesitate for fear of repercussion. I crawled on my hands and knees down the hall toward the bedroom, sweat dripping from my brow and my entire body shaking. But, something else was happening. When I made it to the bedroom I sat obediently on the floor at the end of the bed and looked down to see my hard, dripping cock. I was confused and afraid, my tiny human dick throbbing and leaking as I watched the three follow me into the room. Rya climbed onto the bed behind me, hopping playfully around on the soft cushion. When she finally calmed down she stroked my head, her long fingers running through my short hair. She sniffed at my head and I felt her stiff cock poking at my back. She tittered in my ear and her fingers grasped my hair tight. She pulled my head back until I was looking up at her tiny face, her large doe-eyes looking down lovingly at me. Her little mouth placed a gentle kiss on my lips and my mouth dropped open to receive her tongue. She explored my mouth and slid her tongue half way down my throat. She finally released me only to replace her tongue in my mouth with her long dick. She held my head back on the bed, lowering her tool into my mouth. I looked up to watch her perky breasts jiggle slightly over me. “You're mine for tonight my little human pet! And you will be glad to pleasure us however we desire, isn't that so?” She asked as she thrusted her cock deep into my mouth. I tried to respond but my muffled moans were stifled even more by the tip of her dick slamming into the back of my throat. I gagged, but soon relaxed my esophagus and happily allowed her to slip herself all the way down my throat. She gripped onto my hair and fucked my face, hard. “Mmm, good pet! Hehe! We will see how well you can take a load in every one of your tiny human holes!” She giggled cheerfully before descending into a wave of chittering. Her high pitched titters erupted from her mouth just as a long string of cum exploded from her throbbing tool. She sprayed the back of my throat and I hungrily swallowed every drop. When she had finished releasing into my eager mouth she pulled her rod from my lips and patted my head. She crawled over my face and laid back on the bed, her hands behind her head. I lifted my head and immediately was faced with Mika's massive cock. She had her hand wrapped tightly around it, head swollen and shaft slick with precum. She jerked it in front of my face as she let out soft grunts. Her toothy smile was eerie and I knew what I had to do. I squeezed my eyes shut and opened my mouth, ready to accept the immense, veiny Orc cock. Suddenly, I felt a hand wrap around my waist and pick me straight up off the ground. Teek had picked me up and tossed me aggressively onto the bed next to Rya. I struggled to sit up but Teek pounced on me, her Orc claws digging into the wall behind me as she lowered her gushing wet pussy onto my face. I was immediately suffocated by her thighs. Her muscular legs crouched on either side of my head and her moist labia invited my face inside her. She was surprisingly gentle as she began to grind her pelvis against my mouth. I slipped my tongue into her shockingly tight hole, gasping for air every time she slid back on my face. Her clit was engorged and I flicked it with my tongue while she dripped all over me. Her juices were bitter but I wanted more. While I lapped up Teeks gushing pussy juice, I felt one hulking hand grab onto both of my ankles and lift my legs up in the air. My bare ass was exposed and I felt Mikas thick, clawed fingers spreading my trembling cheeks. She couldn't possibly want to...oh God. “Human has tight holes.” Mika’s gruff voice was muffled by Teeks meaty thighs pressed around my ears. She eagerly shoved one finger into my frightened ass and I screamed into Teeks wet hole. The three of them laughed, Teek still humping my face and Mika’s finger heading deeper and deeper into my dry, aching sphincter. I moaned in pain but continued to lap at Teeks throbbing clit like a good puppy. I knew if I failed that my fate would be far worse. “Human will make Teek cum!” The green goddess above me groaned in her deep voice, quickening her pace. My ass stung but my cock stood erect as I pushed my face harder into Teeks pussy, practically shoving my head into her gaping hole. Just when I thought I would please my Orc Mistress, she was thrown off of me. Teek tumbled backwards onto the bed beside me and Mika crawled over her and straddled my chest. “I want human mouth!” She shouted and grabbed onto my hair. I winced as her claws dug into my scalp and before I could make a sound, her fat cock was filling my mouth. My jaw ached and I tried to breath through my nose. I choked and gagged as Mika aggressively fucked my mouth. I could feel her precum oozing onto my tongue and my eyes filled with tears as I struggled to breath. “Teek want to cum!” I heard the angry voice from my left. Then a soft, giggling sound as Rya leaned into my line of sight. “Mmm, better not disappoint either of them, little puppy! Or your Elven Mistress will not be pleased! Hehe!” Rya tented her fingers and smiled wickedly. My mind raced and I did the first thing that I could think of to satisfy both Orc Queens. As Mika grunted wildly and fucked my throat, I reached out and slid my fist into Teeks slippery cunt. She moaned and laid back happy with my compromise. Rya tittered gleefully at my attempt to satisfy both Orcs and she hopped to the end of the bed like a manic rabbit. I fisted Teek while Mika choked me to tears with her horse dick. I tried my hardest to concentrate on my tasks but my attention was diverted when Rya slid her long rod unexpectedly into my ass. I jumped and let out a muffled cry. My body was used like a toy by these three beastly Goddesses and I felt complete. My Mistress had trained me well and I would never let her down. I rammed my arm deeper into Teek and reached around, feeling her warm walls and slamming my fist into her rough g-spot. She roared and grunted, clawing at my arm with one giant hand and rubbing her massive green clit with the other. Suddenly, the bellow of a wild animal passed her lips and her pussy squeezed tight around my forearm. She squirted white liquid all over the left side of my body as she orgasmed and my cock leaked like never before. I had made my Orc babysitter cum, I must be such a good boy! Teek pulled back and my arm slipped out of her gushing cunt, leaving me soaked and sticky still filled with Rya and Mikas cocks. I felt the Orc futa getting more and more excited, thrusting deeper and faster into my aching throat. I looked up through my tearful eyes and watched her pendulous tits bouncing over my head. At the same time, Rya dug her fingers into my thighs as she pounded my once virgin ass. I ached and clenched with every thrust but welcomed her member into me. My cock twitched and I felt her stroking and tickling it as she giggled. “Little human cock! You take Nymph cock like a good puppy, and now, take a load all over your tiny pet penis!” She tittered and wailed in her sweet, high voice as she pulled out of me. I felt her unload her warm stream of cum all over my throbbing dick, coating my cock, stomach and balls with stringy cream. My sore hole puckered and I continued to take Mika, doing my best to lick and suck and give her all the pleasure she deserved. I cried and gagged and when I thought I couldn't take it anymore and would pass out from lack of air, she pulled her monstrous tool out of my mouth. “Mika want human hole!” She groaned, pulling me up and placing me on my knees. Oh, God! No! She couldn't! “Mika like tiny human, feel good around cock!” She exclaimed as she grabbed my ass and spread my cheeks. I tried, I tried as hard as I possibly could. I wanted to be silent, to be well behaved and make my Mistress proud. A twelve inch Orc cock pushed past my contracting sphincter, ripping and stretching its way inside me. I couldn't be the toy that I was trained to be. Not this time. It was just too much. “Oooh! No, please!” I screamed, begging for mercy. Mika just laughed and the other two snickered at my pleas. She wrapped her bear-like hands around my hips and pulled me closer. “Aaah! Mistress!” My cries just egged her on and she humped my pained hole, grunting and growling with pleasure. After a few minutes I began to loosen up, the pain still shot through my body but I wiped the tears from my eyes. Her forceful thrusts moved my entire body over the bed back and forth. I began to lose control of myself, moans escaped my lips and my cock waved with every thrust. I dripped with Rya’s cum and my own precum while Mika enjoyed my tight ass hole. “Human will-grunt-take cum!” Mika howled, her speed increasing and her claws gripping harder around my hips. I shivered, though the aggressive thrusts masked what my own body was doing. I instinctively closed my eyes, waiting. Wanting. I felt a thin hand grasp my chin and I opened my eyes to see Rya standing in front of me. “You will not close your eyes, human pet!” She ordered. “You will look into my black eyes and take what Mika has to give. Don’t you dare look away!” I did as she commanded, never taking my eyes off of her beautiful doe face. “Yes.” I muttered. “Yes, give me your cum my Orc Queen!” Rya and Teek laughed and Mika squeezed me with her clawed hands and grunted loudly. I felt her convulse as she jackhammered me. Her cock pulsing and firing what felt like gallons of hot liquid into my body. Cum gushed around her member as it continued to hammer in and out, dripping like a fountain down my thighs. Mika’s cries of pleasure echoed through my head and her cum filled me. I felt my arms start to give out and the sensation of this monster futa emptying into me gave me all the pleasure I needed. I tried to hold it back, knowing that I didn't deserve the release and that I would be punished if I allowed myself to cum. I stared into Rya’s eyes and tried to remember to behave like a proper trained pet. It was too late, though, Mika pulled her cock from my hole and I let go. “Mistress! I’m sorry!” My voice cracked as my pulsating dick released all over the bed beneath me. I shuttered and dripped, shooting string after string of cum onto the fabric. My body ached and I couldn't breath. The last thing I saw was Rya’s playful eyes and smirking mouth as I knelt in a puddle of fluids. Then, darkness fell over me. When I woke up I was laying curled into a ball in my cage. I looked up and saw my radiant Elven Mistress staring down at me with her fiery eyes. I struggled to sit up, my body pained and wet. I slowly remembered the events of the night and as my mind wandered in fear of her reaction, I heard her angelic voice finally address me: “My puppy was a bad little boy.”
I have a cat but I can't find him to take a picture. His name is Marko. With a K.
I am heterosexual.
I'm Christian but I'm not against homosexuality, more or less ambiguous on the gay marriage thing. I don't mind either way.
My classmates and siblings correct me when I say Neither and Either with an I/eye sound.
I don't like most desserts. Pie tastes gross, cheesecake makes me gag, donuts feel disgusting in my mouth. And anything like pudding that isn't pudding (i fucking love pudding) like anything soft makes me gag. Ugh i hate my tastebuds.
I don't like bacon.
The smell of anything greasy gives me a headache.
I used to have chronic headaches up until this year.
I'm a really feminine man. I also have a lot of female "besties".
Sometimes I think I can do crystal meth but then I think, mmm, better not.
I can quote the movie Mean Girls.
I like taking safety scissors and then catching grasshoppers and cutting their limbs and antennas off. I sometimes leave the wings so i can watch them struggle to fly away. Oh and i typically set them on fire with axe can+lighter flame thrower thingy.
When I watch Harry potter I quote every line and point out to myself book and movie adaptation mistakes.
In the beginning I rooted for Voldy.
Spoiler for Deathly Hallows (harry potter book 7) i cried when dobby died
I've stayed up multiple nights to prevent my friend cutting herself and/or killing herself.
I've cut myself.
I almost committed suicide twice.
Only two of my school friends know I'm suicidal
I did not think i was gone from here for five days. Holy shit. You guys tend to post a lot when I'm not here.
Shifting FIRE Strategies: Choosing a lower net worth. From 'as fast as possible' to maximizing certainty and flexibility. Featuring two purposeful "mistakes" - paying off the personal mortgage, and exiting Real Estate Investing. The journey from Negative 172K to nearly FI.
TL;DR: Discovered FIRE at age 26 with $172,000 in student debt. My wife and I rearranged our entire life to hit FI as quickly as possible - Heavy work schedule, plus planning to build NW with BRRRR (Buy, Rehab, Rent, Refinance, Repeat). We are now ~seven years in (out of then-estimated 12 total) and decided to slow down: sold the rental units, paid off the personal mortgage (both financial 'mistakes' I'm very happy with) and am taking a more relaxed, surefire path to FI involving low (but comfortable) expenses, no rentals, and reducing work schedule. Journey, thoughts, and numbers below. Journey before destination.
This is way longer than I intended; it also has all the info in it I enjoy hearing about other people’s FIRE journeys. . . sorry for the length.
Background (Skip this if you want; I enjoy reading these, so I lay it out for others)
I had terrible money habits growing up: they continued until I was 26. Really bad. I grew up on foodstamps, and we never had any excess money; anything that came in went right back out on expenses. I’d like to say they were necessities, but looking back. . . I think we could have done a lot better. The scarcity mindset that living at the financial edge instills is real, and I continued to spend every dollar available to me (by work or by loan) until I stumbled across FIRE. Constantly racked up credit card debt, and took every dollar that was ever available on student loans. I regret taking the amount of student loans we did; we could have done less (though not anywhere near zero) They say “That first 100K is hardest”, but it’s really that “That first 100K from zero is hardest” because if you hit a low point of -172,000, compound interest doesn’t really help you for that first 272K. . . Income/expenses listed are at the end of that calendar year.
2011, age 24:
Graduated in 2011 with a Civil Engineering Degree, wife was a student, working on a Masters in Public Health. This was the absolute peak of the financial crisis for engineering. I took a (not quite full time) temp job as a web developer making $20/hr, and we maxed out taking my wife’s student loans: Income: 31K me, 0K wife, 31K comb || Exp: ~40K || NW: -$163,000
2012:
Wife graduated grad school halfway through the year and got a fellowship for $24/hr. My temp work finished halfway through the year, and I ‘worked’ full-time applying to engineering jobs. Finally got one after a few hundred resumes, but wouldn’t start until just into the new year, 2013. Which left that year at: Income: 12K me, 26K wife, 38K comb || Expenses: ~40K || NW: -$172,000
2013, age 26: the tipping point year for FIRE
Note that we moved significanly backwards the previous year in net worth due to student loan interest and spending. . . Started a job as an engineer! $52k per year ($25/hr). Straight salary, with a terrible (in retrospect) company. Worked a ton of hours, but only got paid the base salary. I shudder to think what my hourly rate (working a lot of 70 hour weeks) actually was averaged over this year. . . Still a financial step up! Discovered FIRE. I cannot stress enough how big of a change this made for my wife and me. My wife was naturally a frugal person (I was not) but we both had otherwise terrible habits. Once about my third real check rolled in I googled “Student Loan Repayment” and in the process of trying to find a more robust calculator (I was looking for, essentially, unbury.us, though I didn’t know at that time it existed) and happened to stumble across Mr. Money Mustache in February. I would like to pause for a minute to point out how terrible of a name this is: I can credit this one website with legitimately changing my life in a very positive way, but if I ever try to explain what this life-altering blog was, it’s. . . mister money mustache. Sigh. I was consumed. In less than a month I had read everything (and I mean everything) on MMM, MadFientist, and JL Collins; I devoured Your Money or Your Life, Rich Dad, Poor Dad and The Richest Man in Babylon. My wife and I planned out our financial goals (Get student loan free, then try to retire in 15 years; will finish well ahead of this) and drastically reduced expenses. Started aggressively paying down student loans by ‘minimum payment amount’ first to reduce our DTI ratio, hoping to qualify for a mortgage. I became obsessed with the idea of having a miniature empire of rental units that would help me reach FI faster: small, clean, well-maintained places that I loved and the tenants loved. Planned to ‘house hack’ by getting a duplex and living in half – the worse shape the better! I’d always been handy, I was looking forward to sweat equity. Started looking for a house in May. Got married in July of this year; I suppose all previous references to ‘wife’ should read fiancé before this. . . Bought a duplex: We were approved for a mortgage due to having some long repayment lengths on student loans which kept our DTI ratio on just the right side of acceptable, and bought an absolute shithole of a duplex with 3% down in November in a pretty nice neighborhood in Minneapolis. This was $196K, which seemed really high from the lows of 2009; that sounds funny in retrospect now looking back, but everyone was worried it was the midst of a second bubble at the time. Moved in to one half, and inherited some tenants in the other. Started rapidly fixing it up with every spare hour I had, as I was still working about 60 hours a week on average. It was a busy year. Income: 52K me, 44K wife, 96K comb || Expenses: ~50K || NW: -$140,000
2014:
Hey, the NW is moving the right direction!! But now we reach “the boring middle” part of FIRE. My wife got a full time job with benefits (as opposed to a fellowship) with a pay bump. I got a 12% raise from my terrible company, mostly in response to threatening to leave due to working conditions. Working conditions did not improve. At the end of the year I switched companies (wont’ be reflected in this years salary) to the place I’m still with. They are a hugely better company to work for, and they pay for every hour I work. The pay was about the same per hour, but since I was working 60hweek I essentially got a 50% raise. We began to live on just my wife’s paycheck, and used 100% of mine to pay off student loans/invest. This hasn’t changed to this day. . . except we now also invest some of hers. Income: 58K me, 56K wife, 114K comb || Expenses: ~50K || NW: -$97,000 More of the same, paying off student loans in 2016, continuing the aggressive saving until 2020. . .
Note that NW has some weird jumps once we got past zero because the duplex went from essentially zero cash flow (lot of costs going in tended to burn all the rental income) to positive cash flow as we started to wrap the years of renovations, to a huge jump upon sale.
2020: Deciding to Simplify (Start again here, this is the point of the post!)
We had a kid. I had already been getting worn out of rental maintenance, especially as we had moved out of the duplex entirely and were renting both halves, now that it was nice. Working a ton, and feeling like between a (more than) full time job, child, and rental, something had to give. It was amazingly difficult to find a decent rental manager. Our personal expenses had slowly shrunk down to be about $4,000/month, $1,500 of which was the mortgage on our new house. In addition were the duplex costs, and the possibility that I had to have enough cash reserves to cover three furnaces, three water heaters, three stoves; also potential vacancies, other big ticket items (like a $14,000 roof job on the duplex, water damage from ice dams, etc) that were always potentially looming. The rental income did cover these expenses: The duplex was working as a business. But I was having basically $7,000 a month in expenses despite a fairly frugal lifestyle that had to be covered; $84,000 a year that had to be earned and burned no matter what. My wife took a big chunk of time off for maternity, and I wanted to do significantly less, but this ‘burn rate’ was weighing on me. Our three biggest expenses were the duplex, our house, and taxes. Taxes are as low as they can be (all tax-advantaged accounts maxed out) and I’m happy to give back to the education and food programs that helped me, growing up. But, I could sell the duplex, and roll all the profit into the new mortgage, and potentially go from needing to earn and burn $84,000 per year to $30,000. . .
Rent out vs. Sell
I ran the numbers on if I kept the duplex, vs selling and investing it in the stock market. I looked over the the next 6 years, which is about/past my FIRE date. My estimated net worth difference would be around $80,000! Nothing to sneeze at! However, it also would be the difference between ~$1.3M and ~1.2M, both of which are over my FIRE number of $950K for 3.25% SWR. If this had been the difference between $0 and $100K, that’d be huge. That 1st 100K is the hardest. The 13th 100K, however, is not. I also had the added wrinkle that if we sold in 2020, it counts as a primary residence, and we don’t pay gains tax on the part we had lived in two of the last five years; this reduced the calculated 80k difference. Purposeful “Mistake” number 1: The duplex is gone. Was it worth an 8% reduction in net worth in 6 years to me to not have to deal with the rental property with a young child or two? A thousand times yes. I will have, I think, significantly less wealth in 30 years because I sold the rental duplex back in July. But I will have enough either way, and I shall never get these years back. I think buying, renovating, and renting that duplex was the best single financial action I ever took. I’m happy I ground it out and did the completely hellish task of gutting a 110 year old building in the evenings around a 60hweek job. I also don’t think I’ll ever do it again. . .
Pay off Mortgage vs Invest
What about, now that I’ve sold the duplex, putting it all in the market vs. paying off our home mortgage? The numbers are pretty simple: 5% real returns in the stock market (8% returns, 3% inflation, assumed). Mortgage was, by happenstance, almost the same amount we got out in cash from the duplex, $153K. We would then not have to pay the $1500/month that was going to principal and interest, and could invest that. All number – as always – in 2021 dollars for simplicity.
$153K invested for 6 years at 5% real gives you $205k.
$1,500/month invested for 6 years at 5% real gives you $125K.
A difference of, again, $80,000. At least I’m consistent. . .
This one was much harder; I really wanted to reduce my ‘burn rate’, but this basically means that selling the duplex and using that to immediately pay off my mortgage made us (statistically) $160,000 poorer in about 6 years, another $80k of gains gone. However, despite me not believing (allegedly) in timing the market, the CAPE is currently quite high. . . and I’m getting awfully close to being able to FIRE anyways, 4-8 years, pending variables. I also intend to transition my 100% equities to a 100/60/100 V-shaped Bond Glide to maximize safety at the cost of potential gains. I also believe that it doesn’t make sense to carry a mortgage into early or regular retirement. These aren’t just numbers in a spreadsheet, I actually have to be able to shift the funds to be able to do this, in a way that’s not crippling from a tax perspective. It’s going to take years to shift to a bond allocation slowly; trying to pay the mortgage off at the same time could very well be impossible. I don’t have a target FIRE date; I intend to work less and less as I slide into ER, and having the mortgage paid off means that my wife and I can do this whenever we want, without having to do 5 years of financial maneuvering in the background to ‘pull the trigger’. The flexibility is worth it. Purposeful “Mistake” number 2: The mortgage is gone.. We now live very comfortable – I would say luxurious – lives on about $2,500/month. This will increase sporadically for large trips and childcare, but is our past and current expenses, and will be further in the future too. I intend to build a fairly large cushion in passive income over this for unforeseen events, then charity, if those don’t materialize, but we don’t feel impoverished in any way at this spending level. We are privileged enough, lucky enough, and determined enough to now be making about $45/hr each gross, $36/hour each takehome. This means we need to work a combined 70 hours in a month to be able to cover our expenses; that’s 35 hours each, or an average about 8 hours a week throughout the year. We are primed to be able to slowly “BaristaFIRE” with reduced hours and benefits in our current jobs, which we both (mostly) enjoy. We will both be only when we want – which might be not at all – by age 40. If you had asked me at 25 if this was possible, I would have laughed in your face.
Mnet Asian Music Awards 2020 (MAMA 2020) - Discussion Thread (201206)
MAMA 2020 (Mnet Asian Music Awards 2020)
Welcome to the discussion post for what many consider the highlight of the year in the K-Pop world - MAMA 2020 (Mnet Asian Music Awards 2020). This is where you can discuss anything related to the event. We're continuing to test out the "Live Discussion" feature on Reddit. Instead of needing to update the thread to read new comments they'll appear automatically on mobile and new Reddit (Redesign), making it more like a chatroom.
Performers: ATEEZ, BoA, BTS, CRAVITY, Enhypen, (G)I-DLE, GOT7, Hwasa, IZ*ONE, Jessi, JO1, MAMAMOO, Monsta X, NCT, Oh My Girl, Seventeen, Stray Kids, Taemin, The Boyz, Treasure, TWICE, TXT, Winter (aespa). Presenters: Go Bo-Gyeol, Choi Soo-Young (SNSD), Byeon Woo-seok, Bae Jung-Nam, James Corden, Jeon Mi-Do, Jeon Hye-jin, Hwang In-Yeop, Gong Myung, Kang Han-na, Jung Moon-sung, Jung Kyung-ho, Joo Woo-jae, Lee Jung-jae, Lee Do-Hyun, Lee Da-Hee, Kim Ji-suk, Lim Soo-hyang, Lee Yu-Bi, Lee Sun-Bin, Lee Sang-Yeob, Park Seo-Joon, Park Ha-Sun, Park Kyu-Young, Im Soo-Jung, Yoo Yeon-Seok, Yoon Bak, Yang Kyung-Won, Uhm Jung-Hwa.
PERFORMANCES
ARTIST
SONG(s)
LINK
Taemin
Intro, Heaven, Criminal, IDEA (Dance Break ver.),
[Link]
Jessi
NUNU NANA
[Link]
Hwasa
Intro + Maria
[Link]
Jessi x Hwasa
GANG (MAMA ver.)
[Link]
ENHYPEN
Into the I-LAND (Piano Ver.), Walk The Line, Given-Taken
[Link]
CRAVITY
Break all the Rules
[Link]
Monsta X
BEAST MODE
[Link]
CRAVITY
DRAMARAMA, Shoot Out (Orig. Monsta X)
[Link]
Monsta X
Love Killa
[Link]
Oh My Girl
NONSTOP (Remix)
[Link]
(G)I-DLE
Dumdi Dumdi
[Link]
(G)I-DLE x Oh My Girl
Good Girl Bad Girl (Orig. miss A)
[Link]
The Boyz
The Beginning of the End (Reveal & CHECKMATE)
[Link]
ATEEZ
Dona Eis Requiem (INCEPTION & Answer)
[Link]
Stray Kids
Victory Song (MAMA ver.)
[Link]
ATEEZ, The Boyz, Stray Kids
Open the Gate of Hell, Traingular Fight
[Link]
JO1
INFINITY, Shine A Light
[Link]
TREASURE
BOY, I LOVE YOU, mmm
[Link]
TXT
Cover Song (Orig. ?) ,Cover Song (orig. JYP), Dynamite (Orig. BTS), Blue Hour (Dance Break ver.)
[Link]
IZ*ONE
La Vie en Rose, Violeta, FIESTA, Secret Story of the Swan, Panorama (live debut)
[Link]
GOT7
Not By The Moon (MAMA ver.), Last Piece,
[Link]
MAMAMOO
AYA, Dinga (Agrabah ver.)
[Link]
Seventeen
Left & Right, HOME;RUN
[Link]
NCT
From Home (Rearranged ver.)
[Link]
WayV
Turn Back Time
[Link]
NCT Dream
Ridin'
[Link]
NCT 127
Kick It
[Link]
NCT
Resonance
[Link]
TWICE
Intro, MORE & MORE (Dance Break ver.), I Can't Stop Me, Cry For Me (new song)
[Link]
BoA 20th Anniversary Tribute
ID; Peace B (Winter - aespa), Listen To My Heart - (G)I-DLE), Tree (YooA - Oh My Girl), Atlantis Princess (IZ*ONE).
BoA
No. 1, Only One (feat. Taemin), Better
[Link]
BTS
On (Dance Break ver.), Dynamite, Life Goes On (feat æ-SUGA)
[Link]
AWARDS
DAESANGS
AWARD
WINNER
Artist of the Year
BTS
Album of the Year
BTS - Map of the Soul: 7
Song of the Year
BTS - Dynamite
Worldwide Icon of the Year
BTS
Main Awards
AWARD
WINNER(S)
Best New Male Artist
TREASURE
Best New Female Artist
Weeekly
Best Dance Performance - Male Group
BTS - Dynamite
Best Dance Performance - Female Group
BLACKPINK
Best Dance Performance - Solo
HWASA - Maria
Best Band Performance
DAY6 - Zombie
Best Vocal Performance - Group
MAMAMOO - HIP
Best OST
Gaho
Best Female Artist
IU
Best Male Artist
Baekhyun
Best Vocal Performance - Solo
IU - Blueming
Best Collaboration
IU - eight (feat. Suga)
Best Music Video
BTS - Dynamite
Best Hip Hop & Urban Music
ZICO - Any Song
Best Female Group
BLACKPINK
Best Male Group
BTS
Favourite Awards
AWARD
WINNER(S)
Favourite Dance Performance - Female Solo
Jessi - NUNU NANA
Favourite Dance Performance - Male Solo
TAEMIN - Criminal
Favourite Dance Performance - Group
Tomorrow x Together
Favourite Asian Artist
WayV
Favourite Female Group
IZ*ONE
Favourite Male Group
NCT
Special Awards
AWARD
WINNER(S)
Discovery of the Year
ATEEZ
Best Asian Artist - Japan
Official Hige Dandism
Best Asian Artist - Mandarin
G.E.M
Best Asian Artist - Thailand
Ink Waruntorn
Best Asian Artist - Indonesia
Rizky Febian
Best Asian Artist - Vietnam
BINZ
Best New Asian Artist - Japan
Fujii Kaze
Best New Asian Artist - Mandarin
Chih Siou
Best New Asian Artist - Thailand
MILLI
Best New Asian Artist - Indonesia
Tiara Andini
Best New Asian Artist - Vietnam
AMEE
Best New Asian Artist
JO1
Best of Next
CRAVITY
Best Stage
Monsta X
Notable Achievement Artist
Seventeen
Global Favourite Performer
Seventeen
Inspired Achievement
BoA
The Most Popular Artist
TWICE
Professional Categories
AWARD
WINNER(S)
Best Executive Producer of the Year
Bang Si Hyuk
Best Producer of the Year
PDOGG
Best Composer of the Year
Yovie Widianto
Best Engineer of the Year
Gu Jong Pil, Kwon Nam Woo
Best Video Director of the Year
Lumpens
Best Choreographer of the Year
Quang Dang
Best Art Director of the Year
MU:E
Worldwide Fan's Choice Top 10
Winner
NCT
TREASURE TOMORROW X TOGETHER GOT7 ATEEZ Seventeen MAMAMOO TWICE BTS BLACKPINK We'll update the wiki page after the shows.
I don’t understand people who claim they’re spiritual, religious or empaths and that everything is ‘one’ yet still eat animals... the definitions of contradiction and hypocrisy still remain the same even if you choose to live in denial.
I consider myself spiritual, more than anything I guess I just take a little bit from here, there and everywhere, if it resonates with me. Before I became vegan, I was very much focused on spirituality. It wasn’t until I became vegan that I had a massive awakening, in the sense that I realised I had been contradicting myself. I had been holding things such as empathy, compassion, kindness and respect, as highly valuable traits to posses in life; As well as the notion; do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I wanted to be enlightened in the sense I was focused on just being a good, moral and ethical, person. Yet, I was so self-centred and so self-serving thanks to societal conditioning, that I hadn’t even looked outside of my own species. I was only extending these traits and focusing on being a good person towards other human beings. Those who looked like me and who I could see some of myself in and therefore, had no problem treating them as I wished to be treated. When I became vegan I realised how backwards that was. How can I preach these things yet pay for other sentient beings to have their lives taken...for me? That just doesn’t sit right with me, how could it? That is not kind, that is not compassionate, that is not moral, it’s definitely not ethical and it’s certainly not respectable and is completely devoid of any empathy. I really had to check myself and I have to admit, I was so mad at my parents for never really bringing this to my attention (I was 16). I’m 24 now and I’m not mad at my parents, I’m mad at them AND the rest of the world for not choosing to do better when they have the option to. Isn’t that the mark of a good person? Having the free will to do wrong and even get away with it, but still choosing to do good and be kind and be compassionate? I understand why people are so defensive and even will attack you or make entire social media pages just to slander the vegan movement, create false studies to spread misinformation, and try to isolate you and turn you into a joke just because you no longer want to follow the status quo. That happens with anything whenever someone goes against the grain, just think back to school cliques. Calling someone’s actions into question, is questioning their beliefs, which is questioning their moral compass, their character and who they are. And we are all defensive and protective of ourselves and most of us like to think we are and want to be perceived as, good people. So if you tell someone their entire way of living is wrong, they will pretty much hate you for it. Because you’re judging them, right? I judge non-vegans all the time. I judge my friends, my family, myself - all the time. That’s how I make decisions. No one likes to be judged though. So I get the resistance, people always resist change. What I don’t get, is people who preach religion and spirituality and one love or even zero waste and looking after the planet. Yet they still choose to take life when they literally do not have to. They are not in the wild fending for themselves. They are not a natural carnivore, hence the cooking of meat and the lumps of plant seasoning they smother it in. Literally no one runs over to a field of cows or sheep and wants to take a bite of their flesh after salivating at the sight of them. Because that is not our natural wiring. It is absolutely destroying the planet. It is destroying our health. It is destroying lives. The only way I can really comprehend this, is that we as an entire species have become extremely lost. Those who eat meat, yet preach following conscious and compassionate paths, must have to turn their emotions and empathy off when it comes to partaking in the mass slaughtering of animals. For me I think I just hadn’t sat and really thought about it and once I did I was horrified with myself and made the change. The videos I watched nearly a decade ago traumatised me and I’m not even the one living in those nightmares, the animals are. Just because they do not look like me, they don’t even have to be cute and I don’t even have to like them, but that does not mean I cannot look outside of my own existence. It is contradictory to preach religion, love, oneness, raising consciousness, empathy, kindness and all the rest, but support taking life. It is contradictory to want to ‘save the planet’, but support drought, destruction of the rainforest, pollution of the air, rivers and streams, etc. It is contradictory to claim to love animals, care and respect all life, but support treating some of them as commodities, no better than handbags and sandwiches. It is contradictory to claim you are a man of God, yet treat his animals so brutally and carelessly. Being vegan isn’t just about saving the animals, don’t get me wrong that’s the absolute top priority, but it also comes down to saving our own humanity. Taking responsibility, stepping up our game, being real with ourselves, practicing what we preach and being a better person. The endless vegan meme jokes and the frat boy ‘banter’ attitude towards animal abuse in general (“mmm bacon”) achieves nothing. Let’s stop trying to make being jerks to people who don’t want to cause harm and suffering, cool. Because it’s not. You wouldn’t joke or taunt and mock the suffering of children or poverty, or racism or any other type of suffering that is attached to mankind. So please try to find it in yourself to extend that to those who exist outside of your kind, because the fact that they exist outside of our kind is not a valid excuse to treat animals the way we do.
I am in my early 30s, make $75k a year ($120k joint), live in the South, work as a Development Director, and hate capitalism but love a little luxury!
Edited to remove the tables because when I obsessively checked this post on my phone I couldn't read them?? Also I tried to, but was prevented from, editing the title. I know it looks sanctimonious but that's just one small part of my personality I swear. D: ❤️ Section 1: Assets and Debt Total Net Worth: $30,875 - all equity. Retirement Balance: $0 for me; $20,500 for my husband in the state pension program for teachers. (My partner, L, has been paying into the state teachers' pension system for 5 years. For most of my 20s, I either worked at very low-paying jobs, or supported myself and others on a teacher’s salary, so no retirement for me. My current job does not have a retirement program, but one of my goals for this year is to either start a Roth IRA or get a new job with a 401k match… or maybe both?) Savings Account Balance: $23,733 We’re moving this summer to a city closer to our families, and are saving all we can for a down payment on a dreamy spot. After we move, some amount of what’s left over will go into a retirement fund, and the rest will stay in this HYSA as our emergency fund. For us, three months of expenses, including childcare, is about $18,000. Checking Account Balance: $455 Credit Card Debt: n/a, pay off each month Student Loan Debt: $80,000 for L’s undergrad and MAT. $18,000 for my undergrad and (unfinished) MAT. (My undergrad degrees were mostly covered by the Pell Grant, scholarships, and a $10,000 529 from my parents. L was a nontraditional student - didn’t start undergrad until he was 24 - so none of his was covered. Most of my debt is for a MAT program I dropped out of after one year. I was trying to find any way out of teaching at the time (it is demanding, all-consuming, and carceral at once) and thought a PhD would be my only route. When I got my current job I promptly left the program and any dreams of a PhD behind.) Equity: $83,875 (This number is from an online equity calculator, and is for our house in a very popular neighborhood in a very popular city. Our outstanding debt on the house is $295,000. We put our whole savings down in 2019, which was $9,000 at the time.) ❤️ Section 2: Income Monthly Take Home: My base pay is $65,000, and L’s is $45,000. I worked a side gig last year that totaled about $10k in additional compensation; all of it went to savings so we don't budget for it. My take home is $4096/month for my full time job, and my current side gig income (grant writing) is variable, between $300 and $600 a month. L’s take home is $2262/month. My health insurance is paid in full by work. L’s insurance and B’s come out of L’s paycheck, as does L’s retirement contribution. Income Progression: I’ve been working since I was 15 years old, moved out for college at 18, and paid my own bills starting that year. I won’t include that money here though (it was like $12,000 a year as a college student, for reference). Income below starts when I graduated with two BAs that had nothing to do with teaching. Year 1: $15,600 (part time ABA therapist, full time baby anarchist) Year 2: $32,000 (year 1 teacher salary: I accepted a spot in Teach for America for this giant salary even though I thought it was an obnoxious neoliberal org. Yes, I was also obnoxious at the time.) Year 3: $33,000 (teacher, step increase) Year 4: $34,000 (teacher, step increase) Year 5: $35,000 (teacher, step increase) Year 6: $15,000 (community organizer; at the time this felt like a dream job) Year 7: $20,000 (community organizer & cafe worker) Year 8: $40,000 (back to teaching, felt rich; this includes a side hustle writing grants on the side for $50 an hour) Year 9: $45,000 (left teaching for my current job, quit the grants side hustle) Year 10: $55,000 (got a raise, got pregnant) Year 11: $65,000 (got a raise and promotion, had a baby) Year 12: $75,000 (was promoted again in January but waiting on the pay increase to hit, hopefully with backdating. This money diary doesn’t reflect this salary as it hasn’t been reflected in my check yet) ❤️ Section 3: Expenses Mortgage/PMI/Insurance: $2,110 Retirement Contribution: n/a (L’s retirement is pulled out of his check before he receives it: it’s $169 a month. Right now, I don’t have a retirement contribution) Savings Contribution: $1000 to main savings, $400 to sinking fund (This is a super aggressive goal for us and is only possible because our childcare costs are covered by work) Debt Payments: n/a right now (We have student loans to the tune of $100k but haven’t been paying a dime since they were paused due to COVID. But then the other day I checked and saw they've gained interest? Should we be paying them then? WWJD? I legit don’t know.) Electric: $130 Internet: $100 Cellphone: $65 (For L & I both. We are on a bigass family plan with 40 gajillion other people.) Subscriptions: $45 ($10 Spotify; $10 Youtube music; $2.99 Apple data (Why?!); $22 NYT (for newspaper and cooking app); also have a split subscription to the New Yorker with bestie F but we paid for a yearly deal.) Car Payment and Insurance: $150 for a car payment; $202 for insurance (Insurance covers both of our used cars and my dad’s used handicap van. Our car payment is for our used Honda. We only owe $6,850 on the car and I’m back and forth on whether to pay it off with savings) Medical/Therapy: $0 (My therapist is $140 a session, and I just started seeing her again once a month, but this is reimbursed by work. I also get an inhaler at least twice a month - that’s reimbursed too, costs $60 total.) Misfits Market: $120 (For a weekly box, which really helps us cut down on overall grocery cost) Gym membership: $30 (For my intense local yoga studio’s app which is so great in the winter. We also run and bike a lot, as long as it’s warm enough) Donations: $100 (We give monthly to our local Democratic Socialists of America; the Working Families Party; and a small, local org. I’m also on an organizing committee for that org. We’ll give them one big gift of at least $250 this year, probably in May. I support a couple organizations with grant writing and grant-finding support as much as I can, which usually amounts to a few hours a month.) Childcare: $0 B goes to a very precious Montessori preschool, and we can walk him there. It’s pricey af ($1300/month). The other $200 is to account for some babysitting from my little sister when L or I have to work weird hours. For now, work reimburses this full amount as a COVID perk; if that changes, we will have to cut costs significantly. House cleaner: $160 (They come twice a month and charge $80 each time.) ❤️ Section 4: Money Diary NOTE: We are masked and afraid everywhere we go. ✨DAY 1: THURSDAY✨ 4:20 am: Good morning world! I shuffle into the kitchen in my panties and my slippers to fill up the gooseneck kettle. I recently got into pour over coffee even though it’s quite a commitment. With a toddler, a full-time job, and a Libra sun, I don’t really have time for meditative morning routines. This lengthy, half-naked coffee regimen is my closest attempt. As soon as I get the coffee brewing, our 18 month old, B, starts making noise. I open the door and see he’s got his pacifier in his mouth and his pillow in his arms. He wants to lay with Dada. I help him get in the bed with my husband, L, as quietly as possible. Last week L was super sick and we thought for sure he had picked up COVID. Blessedly all of our tests came back negative, but on the heels of that, he started having major tooth pain and had to have an emergency tooth extraction, AND he got an ear infection as he was coming down from whatever virus he had. I hate it :( I get dressed and do some chores while they snooze to ease L's morning. I start the diaper laundry (usually his job - we use cloth), put away the dishes, start the Eufy vacuum, and get B and L’s breakfasts together: sunbutter and a little bit of syrup on some banana pancakes I prepped earlier this week. 6:30 am: B and L are up! The hour before we take B to preschool is kind of a marathon. L eats with B (and supervises his syrup consumption) as I clean out some more dirty diapers, brush my teeth, make another cup of coffee, strip our sheets, spray my hair with water to refresh the curl, return a few group texts, and wash some breakfast dishes. Somewhere in here I also eat two boiled eggs with Everything But the Bagel seasoning, and a bunch of grapes. I help L get B loaded up in the car, and just as they pull off, my parents Facetime me. They’re calling to see B but are polite enough to talk to me for a few minutes. They live a few hours away, and are divorced, but cohabitating. The full story is long and spiritual for me so I’ll spare you. Anyway, my mom and I talk for a while about this couch she thinks I should buy from one of her friends, but it’s two hours away and we’d have to rent a U-Haul, so I think we’ll pass. I do hate our current couch though. Please drop comfy toddler- and dog-friendly recommendations in the comments! 8:15 am: I set out to walk the dog and listen to the Daily’s recent update on the coronavirus. Donald G. McNeill, Jr., says we’re in this through the summer, which is a bummer on the personal and global front, but I suppose it could be worse??? Maybe?? As soon as they finish talking I switch over to You’re Wrong About. I’m deep in the Jessica Simpson series and highly recommend this pod for any other nerdy, lefty, kinda burnt out millennials, especially those of you that are queer or queer-adjacent. Once home, I take my whole operation onto the front porch to work, since the cleaner will be here soon and I don’t want to crowd her in this time of COVID. I LOVE a clean house and I love paying someone else to do the big stuff, which is a recent luxury for us. 11:00 am: I’ve been working steadily in my email and google docs for a couple hours now, and it’s COLD out here. The cleaner leaves and I am grateful to go back into the heat. I Venmo her $80 for the cleaning (included in monthly expenses). I take a break from work and check out the job boards. My current job is the best, and highest-paying, gig I’ve ever had, but I’m planning to leave some time this year for several reasons. The premier reason: I recently learned that I’m qualified for several positions that pay over $100k at similar organizations. With that kind of money we could pay off our student loans, help our families out more, make sizable donations, and L could explore a career outside of teaching without freaking about a slight cut in his pay for a few years as he finds his niche. Or - maybe he’ll get into Edtech somehow and we’ll join Resource Generation. Who knows. 12:30 pm: I have a quick break and pull together lunch: half a cheese quesadilla, a big bowl of Smitten Kitchen’s roasted tomato soup, and a LimonCello LaCroix. L is on his planning period and asks me to edit his most recent job application, and I oblige. Since we’re both job hunting, I ask him if I can buy a resume template and guide on Etsy. I have sworn off online shopping for the year to curb my impulse spending, but he says we’ll just count this one as his purchase. Great news because I hate the formatting of my resume from 2016 and don’t want to fix it myself! $9.95 3:30 pm: My Zooms are over, my inbox is at 0, and I put up my out of office message because I’m taking the day off tomorrow to work on my resume and do some things to prep our house for sale. My high-functioning anxiety created an ambitious backwards timeline for this process back in December, and that timeline currently runs my life. I work for a few more minutes to tie up loose ends, and then walk O to a nearby shop to buy my favorite candle, curbside-style. When I get there the owner gives me some percentage off because it’s slightly discolored from the sun. Huzzah! $27.25, marked down from $40 4:45 pm: My angel of a baby sister, J, who lives just a few blocks away and is in a pod with us, comes to hang out with B for an hour so L can rest. I head to my good friend D’s place for my investment overalls appointment. She's going to alter their awkward wide leg into more of a tapered, mom jean shape. I have a capsule wardrobe which means I’ll wear these babies at least once a week, and plus I get to pay my friend, so I’m fine with the extra expense. When I arrive, she and her partner have the fire pit going, and we drink a couple glasses of wine together, yet more than 6 feet apart. I learn they are planning to move to the same new city as us in the next couple of years and legit cry happy tears. Afterwards, I head out to pick up dinner for tonight. We are getting burgers from L’s favorite place as a treat. On my way, the WOLF MOON appears over the water and my stomach does triple flips. Then I pick up our dinner: a veggie burger with eggplant jam and kale for me; a real-meat burger with mushrooms, bacon, swiss, carmelized onion, and horseradish mayo for L; and an appetizer plate with pretzels, pimento cheese, onion jam, pickles, and chips for B. Delicious and unhealthy. The total is $34.54. 6:30: Home and eating dinner. B loves his meal, especially the “chokes.” He calls pretzels “chokes” because when L first started feeding them to him, I worried aloud that he would choke every time. I just couldn’t stop thinking about how a pretzel almost took out George W. Bush. Turns out our toddler is better at chewing than George W. Bush. After dinner, L gives B a bubble bath while I do my own, very minimal, bedtime routine. Then L and I lay down with B to put him to sleep. He has a floor bed, which is a Montessori thing I learned about on mom blogs. L is a very hot and talented woodworker, so he took my floor bed dream to the next level by building a lovely house-shaped frame. The top beam is wrapped in twinkle lights and fake ivy. It’s a nice place to sleep, and we pass out here all the time. 10:30 pm: L wakes me up and we wander to our own bed. 🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 71.74 ✨ DAY 2: FRIDAY✨ 4:15 am: Wake up and go look at the clock. Decide this is a silly time to get up on a day off, drink some water, and go lay back down. But once in bed all I can think about is how much I want to read the news, organize my resume, and update this money diary. This is the problem with falling asleep at toddler time. So I get up again at 4:45, make my coffee, read a New Yorker article about Biden’s pandemic response on my phone, and sit down to work on this diary. 6:00 am: L wakes up! He works on breakfast for himself and B and I start meal planning for the month. This is one of my best and most recent life hacks. I found that if I chart out our cooking, weekly takeout, and leftovers at the start of the month, we save lots of money and are so much less stressed about the labor that goes into feeding ourselves. I pull out Smitten Kitchen Every Day and use it to inspire the month’s meals. So quaint to cook from an actual BOOK. 6:45 am: B walks out of our room and announces that he drank my water off the side table. He’s so proud! And so ready to eat. While he eats breakfast, I snack on some grapes and, at B’s request, blast 7 Days A Week by They Might Be Giants. This is the consummate children’s song for any household that dreams of a self-determined world. Over the next hour I take B to school; make myself a real breakfast (a soy chorizo and egg taco); and browse TikTok. Eventually I find a series about this Gamestop situation by a smart Irish woman and L and I watch it together. When it’s over we feel like shrewd stock brokers ready to win money, and L gets to work teaching virtually. I spend the morning painting our front door and our kitchen wall to prep our house to sell, and talking to my (other) little sister on the phone. She’s an HR person with a job that’s taken her far away from our family, and we don’t talk that often. It is so good to catch up on her life. After that I have a fun, day-off Zoom call with longtime bestie and coworker K. We drink coffee and talk about The Future. 12:30 pm: I make lunch (tomato soup with goat cheese on top, and a savory scone on the side) and get a text from another bestie, M, who offers me a little grant writing contract work this week. Yay! I love them and love working with them. Next, I order our groceries for the week. I get baking powder, eggs, cremini mushrooms, vegan sausage patties, oat milk, ginger root, shredded cheddar cheese, plantains, black beans, doggy bags, broccoli, vegan chicken strips, artichoke hearts, roasted red peppers, capers, ciabatta bread, grits, bananas, avocados, greek yogurt, and on impulse, a pineapple on sale (?!). Maybe B will love it. The total comes to $94.08. 1:15 pm: I do a brief power vinyasa class in B’s room and take a shower. It takes me approximately two Drake songs to shower and dry off, as I don’t have to wash my hair today and I never shave. I work on my resume until L and I leave to pick up B. On the way home we stop at the park to play, and then we all get in the car to pick up groceries. 6:30 pm: We get home later than planned and eat together: leftover tofu ramen for us and veggie lasagna for B, who is so sleepy that he hardly touches his lasagna. L gets him in the bath around 7:15 and I run through my evening routine. There’s a lot going on in the house - preschool lunch and clothes to put up, a mountain of laundry in our room, all of the groceries for the week waiting to be put away, and dinner dishes are languishing in the sink. L starts on chores while I get B dressed. As I’m dressing B, my mom Facetimes and B shows her several of his board books. While we’re talking my dad texts me a heart emoji - he overheard B and my mom talking from his room. He lives with a disability and a painful illness, so he goes to bed very early. We hang up with my mom and record a video of B making “P” sounds and saying “I love you” to my dad, and send it over. This is the first time B’s ever said “I love you!” Huge news. We read books and fall asleep next to B. 9 pm: I wake up and nudge L but he wants to keep sleeping. I go clean the dinner dishes, put away the food and reorganize the cabinets and fridge, and mop the kitchen floor while I listen to The Daily’s latest reporting on QAnon believers who are at once totally bananagrams and also remind me very much of my aunt. L wakes up at 9:30 because he and Y, my sister’s boyfriend, are gonna game. Cute! He finishes the laundry and I fold a few diapers to help out. Then we lay in bed together until game time, when I fall asleep. 🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 94.08 ✨DAY 3: SATURDAY✨ 5:40 am: Wake up at a ~*~weekend hour~*~!! Start my kettle, clean and moisturize my face, pull out the ingredients for waffles, and pick up around the house while I wait for it to boil. I try to read some, but get bored a few pages in. I’m currently readingHow to Do Nothing and it’s good enough, but I think I need to chill on the nonfiction and read, like, saucy romance novels with hot bisexual leads. Send me your recs please! Waffle time! This recipe is my go-to. I recommend whipping the egg whites first. B wakes up around 7:15 and helps me cook which is cute and very messy. He eats his waffle with honey, peanut butter, and grapes. L wakes up after him - he had a late night gaming! 8 am: I open yesterday’s mail and find an anti-abortion DVD from L’s grandma. It’s Abby Johnson’s “memoir.” Abby Johnson is an opportunistic right winger and documented liar who once moonlighted as a Planned Parenthood clinic manager. L is a preacher’s kid, so we’re not surprised to receive this from his grandma. For example: 10 years ago, when L and I were a couple years into our relationship, her Christmas gift to me was a book about how one can recover from being a slut by getting married and finding Jesus. This particular package really sends me over the edge, though. I decide to write them a short note later that states my own experience with abortion and sets a clear boundary on this kind of propaganda, and includes an article about Abby Johnson’s bullshit life. It’s unlikely this will change their minds - they are septuagenarian Southern Baptists, after all - but at least I’ll be in my integrity. In the meantime, I group text L’s siblings, and they commiserate with us. His one sibling who is transitioning shares that grandma recently sent them a book about how to tell your gay friends they’re sinning. We agree that’s hilariously dense (and fucking rude) of her, and talk about how everyone under forty is a gay slut living their best life, so really it’s grandma’s loss. During this time I clean the kitchen, finish the waffles, and freeze them for B’s weekday breakfasts. 9:30 am: B asks to use the potty and does a great job peeing on his own! He’s geeked about it and is especially excited to have my parents on Facetime cheering him on. After that we head out on our morning walk. L takes B to the playground and I take O to the dog park nearby. She gets tired pretty quick and we all head to the thrift store. We need chairs for our hand-me-down kitchen table. The ones that came with it are awkwardly wide. L spots two sturdy ones that are just $5 each. Score! $10 11:30 am: B and L are both wiped out once we get home. They eat lunch and go to sleep. I clean up the kitchen, repot one of my plants, water our porch plants, and eat some leftover ramen for lunch. The Marie Antoinette episode of You’re Wrong About keeps me company all the while. 10/10 would recommend. 2 pm: B wakes up and eats some lunch. We watercolor together for a while (he on his big paper, I in my bullet journal), then walk down the street to the local high school while L preps potatoes for our fondue. The high school grounds are open on the weekends, and there’s an amphitheatre on site. B loves the echo in there. 4:30 pm: L joins us in the amphitheatre and together we drag B two blocks back home. I prep the fondue: brie, gouda, and more gouda with white wine. It ends up being a little clumpy but so delicious. My sister, J, and her boyfriend, Y arrive while I’m cooking. Y brings yummy baguettes from his bakery job for the dipping and we prep broccoli, green beans, and tempeh too. We sit down in our new chairs to eat and for the zillionth time I am so thankful we’ve been able to make a pod together this year. Fondue would be a terrifying proposition with anyone else, really. While we eat, Y tells us he put in his two weeks at the bakery because their COVID protocols aren’t so tight and his coworkers are continuing to go to bars and out to eat. His plan for now is to get back on unemployment and find a virtual job sometime soon. Both he and my sister have worked food service their whole adult lives so the pandemic has been tough on them. Besides the fact that they’re delightful and perfect, this is one key reason we’re planning to move with them to our new city this summer: L and I will be able to easily afford the majority of the rent, deposits, and utilities on a pretty big, and centrally located, house. Living together will allow us to grow our savings and take our time looking for a Forever Home, and will allow J and Y to pay really low rent as my sister goes back to school full time and Y looks for a full-time job. I’m really looking forward to living with them and know it’ll be good for B, too. They leave around 7 pm and we put B to bed, this time without falling asleep ourselves! 8:30 pm: Turn on How I Met Your Mother in bed and the episodes are baaaaad bad. One entire episode casts sex workers as a punch line. Ick. L and I agree to find a new show, and fall asleep around 10. 11 pm - 2 am: B is up and between our two beds. Wahhhh. 🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 10 ✨DAY 4: SUNDAY✨ 6 am: Up and at ‘em! Discover I’m out of my fancy coffee and don’t want to emphasize the flavor of our grocery store beans with a slow pour, so make a french press instead. B wakes up too early so we watch toddlers together on TikTok while I drink my coffee, then read books while L makes us all eggs for breakfast. We head out for our morning walk around 9 am and stop at a coffee shop a few blocks away. I pick up Counter Culture’s Iridescent beans, buy an espresso brownie on a whim, and tip the cashier because she’s so sweet and tipping is good. The total is 23.03. L takes B to the playground and I drop my purchases and O back at the house before I head out for a run. 9:45 am: It’s 65 degrees and my run is glorious. I run to the water and pause Lil Yachty for a minute to take it all in. Once home I shower and put on a black LA Apparel catsuit and a marled black and white cocoon sweater from AA of the past (I like what I like!). We feed B lunch and then L puts him down while I clean up. Around 11:30, J comes over after to watch B while we remove the storm windows from our whole house and clean the windows underneath as part of our work to prep the house for sale. We’re a solid team: L removes the storm windows and caulks all the gaps in the wood while I follow behind him and wash the windows inside and out. Our sweet neighbor catches us cleaning and offers to let us use her power washer for free next weekend to clean up the front of the house. I resolve to bake them some cookies. 2:30 pm: We are done with the window operation and it’s time for me to water all 57 plants in the house. Along the way, discover that I overwatered B’s hoya last week and it’s rotting. Noooo! I unpot it on the porch to dry the roots, but it’s raining so this might not work. There’s only one surefire solution: buy a replacement plant! I try to convince L we should go to the nursery, but he’s not so into it. I walk around dejectedly with a towel to clean up all the water I spilled, and Zelle J $70 for babysitting even though she insists she would do it for free. Next B, L, and I share a snack: crackers with goat cheese and harissa. Mmm. B skips the harissa but loves the goat cheese. Meanwhile I begin to stress about making dinner. We’d planned goddess bowls but L and I just aren’t feeling it after our marathon of house work. L requests Chinese and is suddenly more amenable to visiting the nursery, which is near our favorite Chinese takeout spot. Score! 5:00 pm: We leave the plant shop with a heartleaf philodendron for B’s room and a giant, lovely, perfect monstera deliciosa just because. The total comes to $53.24. Then we pick up our food: $33.08 including the tip. L ordered a large veggie lo mein to share with B and General Tso’s chicken, and I got family style tofu and vegetables. We start B’s bedtime routine at 6:30 and he’s out by 7:00 - early for him! After he’s down, L preps his breakfast sandwiches for the week and I do some dishes. Then we take mutual advantage of the extra hour we have together. Even after 12 years it’s always so good with L. I fall asleep around 10 pm feeling blessed. 🌿 Daily total: 179.32 ✨DAY 5: MONDAY✨ 5 am: I make my pour over and get started on work first thing. I have a couple of deadlines this week and the side gig to balance so I’m already feeling pressed for time! I wrap up an entire grant report before 6 am and feel very accomplished. Then I pause work to start our breakfast, which is all pre-prepped, hallelujah. While L and B eat breakfast, I get dressed in a black turtleneck minidress, busted old tights, black ankle socks, and my Doc Martens. I help L load up the car with B and all his gear, and tell L to be careful. Today is L’s first day back teaching in person since December, and we’re both nervous since COVID is still running wild in our red state. On the way to work he fills up his car for $18.33. 2:30 pm: After another grant report, seventy gajillion emails, forty Slack messages, and several hours of Zoom calls, I’m ready for a break. I finish eating the quinoa salad I prepped during Zoom call #2 and then eat a pear too. I see our Misfits box has been delivered. It’s $30 a week, and is included in our monthly expenses. I unpack it, clean the counters, wipe down the bathroom sinks, take O for a walk, and sit down to work on my side gig grant report, which is due Wednesday. I set a 30 minute timer because I don’t want to be too late picking up B. 4:25 pm: Worked longer than I meant to! Pack some snacks and pick up B. On the way home we get a giant bag of potting soil so I can repot those plants. It’s $18.52. Come home and engage in B’s favorite winter activity: pressing all the buttons in the turned-off car. Meanwhile, in another car across town, L picks up a big bag of Purina One, butter, maple syrup, and applesauce. That total is $28.64. 5:30 pm: The whole family is home and we kick it inside until it starts to get dark. L and I gather all the things and take the creatures out for a walk even though there’s a light, but very cold, rain happening. B is cranky and so are we, so the walk is quick. We eat leftover Chinese food around 7 and start B’s bedtime routine. B falls asleep at 8 and I update this diary for a while, then go watch Ted Lasso in bed with L til about 9:30. It’s much better than How I Met Your Mother, for the record. 🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 65.51 ✨Day 6: TUESDAY✨ 3 am: B wakes up and needs a diaper change. I have the hardest time falling back asleep after: I can’t stop thinking about how I left B’s hoya out in the cold with its roots exposed most of the day yesterday and into tonight. But it’s too cold for me to get up again and pull it inside! So instead I toss and turn and hope it’s not dead yet. 6 am: L’s alarm wakes me up! No early morning reading and writing time for me. I get right up, make a giant pour over, and get breakfast together while L wakes up B. Then I actually sit down with them to eat: B and I both eat boiled eggs with everything but the bagel seasoning and some coconut milk yogurt, and L sips his coffee while his breakfast sandwich heats in the oven. I get dressed in my workout gear and walk the dog while L gets B ready for school. They leave, and I finally bring the hoya in, and start work, around 7:30. L buys coffee and snacks from the gas station on his way to work: $6.88. 9:30 am: I grab some crackers and peanut butter from the kitchen and notice a DMV bill on the fridge I’ve been meaning to pay, but don’t totally understand. I call them up and respond to emails while I sit on hold. Turns out I owe the DMV $10 for paying my Dad’s van insurance late. With the “processing fee” it comes to $11.17. 1:30 pm: Been on Zoom calls all morning, and decide to switch over to the side gig work for a bit. Meanwhile I eat that quinoa salad I prepped yesterday. At 2 pm, my longtime bestie and neighbor F comes over and we take O for a walk in the park together and have such a good conversation. While the context is (very) different, I’m reminded of the Toni Morrison quote when I think of F: “She’s a friend of my mind.” Such a gem, and such a smartie. At 3:30 I start a HIIT yoga class and it kicks my butt even though it’s only 20 minutes long. Afterwards, I shower and pick up B. 5:00 pm: L arrives home while B and I are playing, and we get in the car once more to check out a cute couch L scoped out on Facebook marketplace. It’s a sweet vintage brown velvet actually-for-real midcentury situation. Unfortunately we discover it’s also small and very uncomfortable. $200 not spent. Once home, my family goes for a walk and I make dinner - this grits and beans recipe from NYT cooking. It’s blessedly quick to pull together. Meanwhile D texts me and says my overalls are ready! YAY! She’s gonna drop them off in a couple of days. She says the total is $30. I include a tip and Venmo her $40. 7:00 pm: At bedtime, B cannot get enough of his books and we read All The World several times. He finally falls asleep around 8:20 and L and I eat dinner on the couch, with Ted Lasso. I drink a glass of red wine, which is a mistake: my anxiety spikes right after, my stomach hurts, and I can’t sleep. This is very upsetting as I want very much to be a wine mom. Does this happen to anyone else? 🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 58.05 ✨DAY 7: WEDNESDAY✨ 5:45 am: Wake up with B cuddled into my back - L moved him to our bed in the middle of the night after his second wake up. Get my coffee and breakfast together and sit down at my computer to work on the side gig grant while everyone's asleep. Then L and I manage the morning rush together. I eat sourdough toast, two scrambled eggs, and some pineapple along the way. 7:30 am: Take O out for a walk and on a whim decide to listen to one of my favorite easy-listening pods: A Beautiful Mess. Normally the two sisters and co-hosts, Elsie and Emma, chat about things like home decor or craft making or how to balance kids and work. This episode is about the host’s evangelical upbringing, though, and is a real raw and honest tear jerker. Pair it with this, one of my top reads of 2020: “What Does the White Evangelical Want?” It gets me thinking about L’s upbringing in the church. He and all his siblings are all agnostic now. Finally sit down at my desk and debate taking Adderall. I used it regularly in college and for a few years after in order to Do All The Things. I try to stay away from it now - I’m not trying to live an impossible life any more - but I also really want to pick B up earlier than normal today, and that means I need to meet all my deadlines and make it through two Zoom calls with my direct reports by 3 pm. I decide to take 4 mg. Right after I take it, three different friends text me at once and then, suddenly, I’ve spent an hour catching up via text. Get to work for real around 9 am. 3:00 pm: Wrapped all my calls, answered all my emails, washed all the dishes, ate some lunch, and finished the side gig work! OK Adderall, you beautiful bitch. Spend a few more minutes tying up loose ends and then gather my things to pick B up from school. The plan today is to go “play basketball” in the park near his school because he is OBSESSED with balls, and I’m trying to do more magical things every day with him. It’s cold but I’m ready to brave it on his precious, curly-headed behalf. At 4 pm J calls and asks to go pick him up with me. Hooray, things just got even more magical! We head to a different-than-usual park together and run around until B sits in, and then drinks from, a puddle. We panic and J googles “What happens if my baby drinks from a puddle?” The search returns lots of stories of babies eating muddy rocks and surviving, so we decide it’s ok. 5:00 pm Head home and L is back from work! We take the smols on a walk and I tell L that I think nighttime screentime is making me anxious. I’m a sensitive creature and I really don’t want to blame the wine. He’s very perfect so he helps me think through an alternate plan for this evening: hot tea and book reading in bed, and maybe sex, too! Fun. Next, I head home with O to pot the plants we bought the other day, and L takes B to the playground. They get back around 6:30 and I am very excited to reveal my new plant placements. Everyone feigns interest except O. Then we eat leftovers together and B gets in bed around 7:30. L and I promptly fall asleep next to him and don’t wake up again til 11 pm. Guess our new nighttime routine will have to wait til tomorrow! 🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 0 ❤️ Section 5: TOTALS Total Expenses:$478.71 Food & Drink: $220.25 Fun & Entertainment: $0 Home & Health: $109.01 Clothes & Beauty: $40 Transport: $29.50 Other: $79.95 ❤️ Section 6: REFLECTION This week reflects a new normal for us, I think! We just set the goal of saving up for another down payment in December, and that’s when I swore off online shopping both to save money and to stop lining the pockets of evil billionaires like Bezos (no shade to anyone who uses Amazon, this is purely a personal goal & I’m not sure I can meet it). This self-imposed rule is helping me reign in my discretionary spending overall. L and I have only been living a two-income, middle class life for a few years, and my lifestyle creep was a little out of control in 2020. That said, I can and do still regularly justify spending money on things that make life more luxurious and beautiful - like a $40 candle or a totally unnecessary but very lovely plant. There are a couple of things not reflected in this diary that we regularly spend on: gifts (my achilles heel - for example, we spent three! thousand! dollars! on Christmas gifts in December), and medical bills. Both B and I had to visit the emergency room in 2020 and we are still getting random bills in the mail as our insurance company and the hospital duke it out. As I was editing this diary on Thursday, I received one for $787. Wahhhh. I think I’m gonna get on a payment plan, but even so that it will be over $200 a month. Last thought: this process got me thinking in some detail about the contradiction of organizing for the fall of capitalism (and the rise of a more gentle and just economic system), yet believing everyone - including ourselves and our own families - deserve to live full and abundant lives. This means I compromise my own anti-capitalist values and beliefs every day, in big and small ways. Discuss?
(30F) The outcome of my quarantine sampling frenzy- reviews of 66 fragrances!
I found this sub a few months ago and dove in deep. I had to smell ALL the things. I’ve found that I am a fan of fresh clean scents, citrus, florals, vanilla, musk, and rose. I generally shy away from woody, spicy, amber, smoky, and masculine fragrances. Here’s my quick thoughts on 66 samples (in alphabetical order of course)!
Annick Goutal Rose Absolue: Dirty rose scent. Has a vintage, old-fashioned feel to it. I'm a rose-lover, but this one didn’t do it for me. 2/5
Aerin Lauder Hibiscus Palm: Tropical and summery, but didn’t jive with my skin chemistry. 2/5
Armani Si: After my obsessive sampling, I found that many designer fragrances somehow have a similar, generic vibe that I don’t really know how to describe. This was one of those. 2/5
Burberry for Her: This smells exactly like strawberry Pez candy and I’m here for it. 4/5
Byredo Rose of No Man’s Land: I love this. It is a very gentle, fresh rose. In the same vein as MFK A la rose. Unfortunately, it has poor projection and longevity, so I’m not sure it’s worth the price of a full bottle. 4/5
Chanel Chance Eau Tendre: Bright floral with solid performance. Initially seemed generic, but I kept finding myself coming back to it and it really grew on me. Would make a good inoffensive, everyday perfume. 4/5
Chanel Coco Mademoiselle: This was one of the few samples I tried that gave me “old lady” vibes. 2/5.
Dior Hypnotic Poison: Well-loved by many, but I just couldn’t get past the anise notes. 1/5
Diptyque Eau Capitale: Classy, mature rose scent. Makes me feel ready to strut down the streets of Paris. Leans feminine. 4/5
Diptyque Eau Des Sens: Soft, clean, kinda soapy. Definitely unisex. I think I’d enjoy this more as a candle. 3/5.
Diptyque Eau Duelle: This stands out from the other vanillas I’ve tried. It’s less sweet and more dry and woody. I appreciate the artistry, but it’s just not for me. 3/5
Diptyque Philosykos: VERY green. I could easily pick this out of any line-up, as it’s unlike any perfume I’ve smelled before. I wasn’t a fan at first, but the more I wore it, the more it grew on me. If you’re looking for a universally pleasing, inoffensive scent, this isn’t it- but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. 3/5
Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue: Fresh lemon fragrance. There are supposedly woody notes, but I can’t pick them out. So excited to try this out this summer. Sometimes it reminds me of a toilet freshener or chemical cleaner, but I still love it. 5/5
Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue Intense: I honestly can’t distinguish the intense from the non-intense version. I haven’t worn them enough to decide if the intense performs any better. 5/5
Elie Saab Girl of Now: I LOVE almond scents. On paper, it checked all my boxes and it took me forever to find an affordable sample to try. This was so terrible. Like terrible to the point where I wondered if I received the right perfume. Just smelled…sour? 0/5
Fragrenza Amarena Cherry: I was praying this would be a dupe of Tom Ford’s Lost Cherry, and it’s pretty damn close. This has a bit more of an almond extract smell to it and is slightly less tart than Lost Cherry. At $1 per mL, I’ll be picking up a bottle. 5/5
Frederic Malle Carnal Flower: Tuberose FTW. This is so unique and exotic. I could see this being a “love it or hate it” type of fragrance. I’d like to snag a small bottle some day, but I think it’d be more of a special occasion perfume and not something I’d wear on a daily basis. 4/5
Frederic Malle Musc Ravageur: Spicy, amber, musky. Unisex, leans masculine. Not my thing. 1/5
Frederic Malle Portrait of a Lady: This was more masculine than I was expecting. I wish there was more rose and less amber. I can see why people like this, but it just wasn’t for me. 2/5
Frederic Malle Une Rose: Reminiscent of Annick Goutal Rose Absolue. Vintage rose with a little bit of soapiness. 2/5
Geir Ness Laila: Picked this up during a trip to Disney World before I got into perfumes as a hobby. It was the only scent I wore for a long time. I worked my way through the whole bottle and plan to pick up another. It’s an aquatic floral that is super similar to L’eau d’Issey. Deserves more attention than it gets. 5/5
Gucci Bloom: It’s a nice straightforward floral, but there are other perfumes that do it better. 3/5
Gucci Guilty: I smelled this 10 seconds ago and I already can’t remember it. 2/5
Guerlain Angelique Noir: Caramelly, smooth and sweet. But the pear and musk notes create a sourness that I don’t love. 3/5.
Guerlain L’instant de Guerlain: Floral and classic. My mom gifted me a bottle when I was 13 and I was so obsessed that I was scared to actually use it and still have most of the (small) bottle left. I still love it, but I think there’s a big nostalgia factor. I don’t know if it’s something I would be drawn to if I tried it for the first time today. 4/5
Guerlain Mon Guerlain: It’s not bad, it’s just kind of generic and doesn’t stand out from the pack. Seemed to fade really quickly on me as well. 2/5
Guerlain Spiritueuse Double Vanilla: A bit less “powdered sugary” than the Indult and Kayali vanillas. It’s my favorite vanilla that I’ve smelled so far, but I don’t know if it that much better than Kayali to make it worth the price tag. 4/5
Guerlain Tonka Imperial: Smooth and creamy. Sweet but not too sweet. A timeless gourmand scent that would make a nice, everyday perfume. 4/5
Hermes Amber Narguile: I never knew how much I needed to smell like warm apple pie, but here we are. 5/5
Hermes Un Jardin de Monsieur Li: Hermes is hands down my favorite house and their whole Jardin line is just gorgeous. This takes the cake as my favorite Jardin, with Sur le Toit as a very close second. Tropical floral citrus. So fresh and so clean clean. 5/5
Hermes Un Jardin En Mediterranee: My least favorite of the Jardin line. Still, Hermes can do no wrong in my eyes. Lovely woody citrus with a hint of pine. 4/5
Hermes Un Jardin Sur Le Nil: Fresh citrusy scent, more orange than lemon. Trying to decide if I want to get a full bottle of this one or D&G Light Blue, since I don’t think I need both. This one is a little bit more of a tart and realistic citrus than Light Blue, but has similar vibes. 5/5
Hermes Un Jardin Sur Le Toit: Like walking through the grass on a sunny spring day. I want to bathe in this stuff. 5/5
Hermes Un Jardin Sur La Lagune: Aquatic floral with a hint of citrus. Fresh and light. A tiny bit generic. 4/5
Hermes 24 Faubourg: Too elegant and classy for me to pull off. The sandalwood brings it down a notch in my eyes. 4/5
Issey Miyake L’eau d’Issey: Lovely feminine floral with some aquatic notes. The only reason I’m not buying a full bottle is because I already own Geir Ness Laila, which is almost identical. 5/5
Indult Tihota: I love vanillas, but find they tend to be one-dimensional. I had high hopes for this one, but find it to be another straightforward vanilla, similar to others I’ve tried (ie Kayali Vanilla 28). 4/5
Juliette has a Gun Vanilla Vibes: Didn’t pick up on the vanilla notes in this one, but it is very fresh and summery. Unfortunately, it turned into a skin scent almost immediately. 3/5
Kayali Vanilla 28: The opening smells like rubbing alcohol, but the dry-down smells like sticking your face in a bag of powdered sugar. I couldn’t distinguish this from the Indult Tihota vanilla, and the Kayali has a much nicer price tag. Thinking of buying a full size for the bottle design alone. 4/5
Kilian Angel’s Share: This was a huge let-down. Obviously a lot of people love it, but I found it far too syrupy sweet and overpowering. 1/5
Kilian Rolling in Love: A weird combination of sweetness and musk that was really off-putting. 1/5
Lancome La Vie Est Belle: I don’t understand the hype with this one. Kinda sweet, kinda floral, completely forgettable. 1/5
Lancome Oud Bouquet: I was so excited for this one based on all the rave reviews I read. Turns out oud scents are not my thing. I would imagine that an oud-lover would really like this one. It’s a strong perfume (which I can appreciate) with a very classic, mature feel. Unisex, maybe a little feminine. 2/5
Mancera Velvet Vanilla: I was expecting this to be a vanilla scent (don’t know where a person would get that idea?) but it’s very much a floral with a hint of bubble-gumminess. 2/5
Memo Lalibela: Rose dominant. Mature, mysterious, elegant. I like it, but there’s an incense note that keeps me from loving it. 3/5.
Maison Francis Kurkdjian A la rose: Ugh. So beautiful, so underrated. My favorite rose I’ve tried so far. The sweet pea compliments the rose so well. Longevity is sadly not great, but I don’t care. 5/5
MFK Baccarat Rouge 450 Extrait: The hype is real. It makes me feel so rich and fancy. I swear this lasts >24 hours on me. The price tag makes me want to cry though, so I’ll probably stick with hoarding my samples for now. 5/5
MFK Grand Soir: Hate the amber top note, but it transforms into a lovely masculine vanilla in the dry down. 2/5
MFK Oud Satin Mood: Satiny smooth rose. I like this, but it’s just not “me”. I guess it’s supposed to be a feminine fragrance, but I’d call it unisex. 3/5
Maison Martin Margiela By the Fireplace: I LOVE this… on everyone else. I forced my husband to try it and it smelled amazing on him, but I just don’t have any desire to smell like sweet smoke. Lasts all day, excellent projection. Really excited to try the rest of the Replica line. 4/5
Narciso Rodriguez Fleur Musc for Her: Similar enough to NR for Her that I don’t think I need both, and I like ‘for Her’ better. 3/5
Narciso Rodriguez for Her EDP: (the pink bottle) Musky sophisticated rose. The dry-down is powdery and beautiful. My favorite of the Narciso perfumes that I tried. Good longevity. This would make a nice subtle everyday scent. 4.5/5
Narciso Rodriguez Poudree: Despite the name, I find this to be more floral and less powdery than NR for Her. Just ok. 3/5
Narciso Rodriguez Rogue: Iris-forward. Nice smell but poor projection and quickly fades to a skin scent. 3/5
Olympic Orchids Blackbird: I wanted this to be more tart and juicy, but the green woodiness overpowers the blackberry. 2/5
Parfums de Marly Delina: Had to get my nose on this cult favorite. Sweeter than I expected. Very girly and feminine. Powerhouse performer. I’d consider a bottle if it was half the price. 4/5
Thierry Mugler Alien: Love at first sniff. I read a review that described this as jasmine dipped in gold, and that image is somehow so accurate. Lasts forever on my clothes. Bought a full bottle. 5/5
Tom Ford Lost Cherry: WOW. This is a vibrant, in-your-face tart cherry almond fragrance, with unfortunate longevity issues. But that first 10 minutes is a religious experience. 5/5.
Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille: I am generally not a fan of masculine scents, so I’m not sure why I felt so compelled to sample this (actually I do- it’s cause I’m a sucker for vanilla). Don’t come after me, but I hated it. It is somehow sweet and sour at the same time and I didn’t pick up any of the vanilla notes. 0/5
Viktor & Rolf Flowerbomb: My nose clings to any hint of anise and it quickly ruins the fragrance for me. 1/5
Xerjoff XJ 1861 Naxos: Makes me feel like medieval royalty. So rich and complex, but too masculine for my tastes. If I were a dude, I’d be all over this. 4/5
YSL Mon Paris: Juicy and fruity. A little bit too “young”. I prefer Burberry for Her, which has similar vibes. 3/5
Zoologist Chameleon: I really liked this at first, but just didn’t find it to be very wearable. It’s a hard one to describe, so I’m not even going to try. I’ll enjoy the remainder of my sample, but that’s enough for me. 3/5
Zoologist Hummingbird: Smells kind of synthetic? There’s a lot going on here, but I can really pick out the apple and honey notes. 3/5
Zoologist Snowy Owl: Such an interesting, complex fragrance. Crisp and minty with a hint of cucumber. I love the artistry and it was fun to sample, but I don’t really want to smell like this personally. It’s another scent that would be great as a candle or room spray. 3/5
Sample wish list: I'm taking a break from sampling for awhile, but these are on my wish list. I’d love to hear your opinions on these!
MMM Replica Full Discovery Set
7 Virtues Vanilla Woods (if anyone knows where I can find a sample, let me know! Shipping alone from their website was $13 and I couldn’t pull the trigger)
Berdoues Oud Wa Vanilla
Kayali exilir 11
Maya Njie Vanilj
Aerin Lauder Waterlily Sun
Sketch Maison Violet
Narciso Rodriguez Pure Musc for Her
Jo Malone: I’ve hesitated because I’ve heard there are performance issues. Opinions?
Hermes: I’ve been so impressed with them so far, that I want to sample everything! I’d love to hear your must-trys!
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